Gabriele & her “Ghostie”
I am not the normal case. I was not going to have children. My husband and I decided that a family wasn't for us. We got a dog, a house, slept when we wanted and traveled - we truly thought our lives were complete. Then I was asked by my best friend to be her birthing coach - I was honored. Almost 34 hours later and sleep-deprived, she delivered her beautiful daughter and I was changed forever. On my way home I called my husband to tell him about the experience, but I was crying so hard I couldn't speak - I just sobbed. All I can remember now is how amazing an experience it was, to see a child come into this world. We knew our life was not complete anymore.
We started our futile years of trying with the expectations of someone fertile. But one year passed with some routine checks, then two years passed and I was obsessed with my lack of pregnancy. I was now buying ovulation kits and pregnancy kits in bulk, and we had our initial visit to the Regional Fertility Program (RFP). First, we waited each month for the test results, now the sorrow of being told we would never have a baby of our own. There were so many layers of pain and guilt. I was worried that the possibility of not having children would break me.
But after our meeting at the RFP we had a glimmer of hope. We were prepared to do whatever it took to have a baby, but had no idea what we had signed up for. I did well with the medication initially, but hyper-stimulated at the end and became very ill. They would only allow me to place one precious egg in, but fortunately for us that little miracle became my beautiful daughter Gabriele. I was terrified I would lose her right up until she was born, but after I saw her face all those terrible years slipped away.
Now, I never sleep. My idea of exotic travel is going to the mall and standing near a fountain. Our dog is taking anti-anxiety medication since my daughter got into the flour and made him a "ghostie". But I've never looked back for a second. All our efforts and those of the RFP have made us a family. How can you ever thank people for that? My husband and I were lucky we could beg, borrow, and steal to have In Vitro Fertilization, but some couples aren't that lucky. I can't even explain the blessings my life has been filled with since Gabriele. When I think that this opportunity is not available for all families, it breaks my heart. There are many paths to motherhood and I hope by supporting this cause we can create some new ones.
