Too big for words alone…
“In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is your only chance at having biological children.” So we were told after a painful miscarriage. It took us 14 months to get pregnant that first time and for it to end and to be given that news was very difficult.
After a series of routine tests and one surgery, we started our first cycle of IVF. Two precious embryos were transferred and two weeks later, pregnancy was confirmed. We immediately started dreaming about what it would be like to have twins. Right away we started to plan. Our excitement was too big for words alone.
But in an instant everything changed. At 19 weeks, my water broke. To the hospital we raced. We sat in silence except for our sobs. This could not be happening to us. After several hours, labour did not progress. I was then put on strict hospital bedrest. The worry we felt was too big for words alone.
At 22 weeks pregnancy, our little boy and little girl were born. Much too early to survive. The devastation and sadness we felt was too big for words alone.
To create a token of remembrance that I could carry with me each day, we had a ring made with two diamonds embedded side-by-side representing the twins' birth month of April. Everyday, when I slip the ring on my finger, I think of our babies. The love and connection I feel is too big for words alone.
After some time, we were back at the Regional Fertility Program booking more tests. Dr. Selma Scott provided us with the results and a lot of optimism. This time, only one precious embryo was going to be transferred. The first 24 weeks were the hardest. We tried to keep our minds occupied with positive thoughts so there was no room for doubt and worry. But doubt and worry still found its way in. It all became real and wonderful for us once we reached the third trimester. We began to dream, plan, organize and shop! The anticipation we felt was too big for words alone.
On May 18, 2008, our beautiful son was born, healthy and strong and loved so very much. The love and joy Troy brings to our lives is too big for words alone.
