Serenity
As a child I had dreams of being a doctor, a rock star and a marine biologist. Among these dreams was the certainty that I would grow up to be a mother. To nurture and care for a child were instincts that have always been a part of me from playing with dolls to babysitting. I knew I would be a mother one day just as my husband David knew he would one day be a father.
We had no idea that our journey to parenthood would be one of struggle, sadness and frustration. Like many, we took for granted that pregnancy would come easily. Being questioned about when we were going to have children and well-meaning words of wisdom including "it will happen when you least expect it"… and "take a vacation, relax and it will happen" fed into my despair. There was a constant aching in my heart as I longed for a child. I experienced an emptiness inside of me that was causing me to resent every pregnant belly I saw. I began to feel that mothers with more than one child were "greedy" and showing off their fertile tendencies. No amount of tears would release me from such a profound sadness that truly took over my life and I wondered how many times one could have their heart broken.
During this journey, David was my solid support and we began receiving treatment at the Regional Fertility Program (RFP). Over the course of four years, we had "tried" on our own, used Clomid several times as well as Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) and never once were pregnant. Like so many others we fell into the category of "unexplained infertility." This diagnosis only brought more questions for us and gave us no resolve.
We took some time away from "trying" which allowed us the opportunity to heal emotionally and prepare for the possibility of trying In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). After several months away from all the pressure, we came back to the RFP with renewed hope, faith in God and utmost trust in the amazing staff at the RFP. We were ready to surrender control and began what has become the most valuable and amazing experience of our lives - our twin pregnancy.
These babies are our hope, faith and trust brought to life and a miracle that we will forever be thankful for.
